So I work at target now and one of my favorite things to do when I hear something in the next aisle fall is to drop what I’m doing and stand at the end of that aisle like so:
sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis
really all you need to know about the american health care system is that there’s a popular tv series where a man turns to cooking industrial quantities of crystal meth in order to pay his hospital bills
Some people think one group of people have all the assholes.
The truth is that there are shitheads in every ethnicity and gender.
Just because you’ve had some bad experiences with some people, doesn’t mean an entire ethnicity or gender is bad.
Accidental personal injuries are absolutely the worst. “Oh, how did you do that?” “Well, frankly, I’m an idiot.”
What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel
do u mean excited
- me: wow i finally understand math
- moves on to next question
- me: what the hell is this